


frozen time between hearses and caskets

by Voidfish



Series: I Wanna Get Better [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Hatred, davenport dies but its stolen century so he's okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 03:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13966473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voidfish/pseuds/Voidfish
Summary: The deal was simply explained to Davenport, as the captain.Six of them had been caught, and Magnus didn’t know how to fly the trip, so someone needed to go free in order for the mission to continue. The mission came first.The mission came before him.





	frozen time between hearses and caskets

**Author's Note:**

> Title from I Wanna Get Better by the Bleachers.
> 
> Some self hate and victim blaming, as is usual with me, but a semi-hopeful ending. 
> 
> I'm love Davenport and therefore must project on him.

The deal was simply explained to Davenport, as the captain.

Six of them had been caught, and Magnus didn’t know how to fly the trip, so someone needed to go free in order for the mission to continue. The mission came first.

The mission came before him.

“One of you goes in for questioning and receives the punishment for all of you,” the guard had explained. “The rest, if you comply, can go.”

Davenport nodded, had shook the guard’s hand and agreed. It was the best solution - one life for five others. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to let that person be anyone on the crew but himself.

When he is pushed back into their cell Lucretia stands.

“What’s our punishment?” She asks, voice tight. They’d taken away her journal - thankfully she had another one on the ship, but it had taken a toll on her. Davenport wonders if now that she’s being released they’ll give it back.

“My punishment,” he says, as calmly as he can. “The rest of you are free to go.”

Taako raises a hand. “Yeah, I’m dumb, what the fuck does that mean?”

“They were very civil. They offered one life for the lives of everyone else. One person will take the punishment and it’ll be me.”

There’s silence before pandemonium.

“Politely,” Lup starts, “that’s bullshit.”

“Punishment meant for all of us will kill you,” Lucretia says, eyes wide. “There’s no chance, and there won’t be any healers - ”

“Think this through, Dav,” Merle says. He holds a badly broken hand out and Davenport can’t help but wince at the sight. It furthers his resolve. “We’re gonna need you on the ship.”

“Barry can fly,” Davenport replies.

Barry flushes. “We don’t want to leave you behind, Captain,” he says.

“Well, someone’s got to be left behind,” Davenport explains. He’s beginning to lose his temper, honestly, at how long this is taking. It’s obvious this is his duty.

“What if one of us wants to take the bullet, you gonna take our good deed away?” Lup asks. Taako smacks her.

“I don’t want anyone else dying on my account,” Davenport says.

“That’s how we feel, too,” Barry says. “We don’t want to lose you like you don’t wanna lose us.”

Davenport feels his teeth clench together. “That’s different.”

“Well, why?” Taako prompts.

“Because I’m the Captain - I’m in charge of all of you,” Davenport exclaims, chest heaving, “and I’m not gonna fail and - and lose anymore of you than I already have this mission.”

There’s a pause, a moment of shock, and Davenport feels lightheaded and scared.

He feels like he’s going to die, he realizes, because he is. Even now out of the corner of his eye he sees the guard and knows that he has minutes until he is taken away.

“Let me do this,” he says, much softer than before.

A hand his placed on his shoulder, and Davenport turns to look into Merle’s eyes. There’s hope in them right now, hope that looks misplaced. Davenport needs some hope right now.

“Okay,” the dwarf says, “but we’re gonna talk about this when you get back.”

Davenport nods. “I - I guess that’s fair?”

Merle nods. “Welp,” he says, “have fun dying.”

Davenport laughs. “I’ll do my best.”

The door is opened and the guard from before takes him calmly by the wrist and leads him away to a trial room. Davenport can almost swear he hears the voices of his crew yelling for him behind him, but he moves away.

He realizes, with a start, that this will be the first time he has died,

***

The trial is short and unfair but Davenport is not expecting mercy. He is expecting death, waiting for it with fear and curiosity. 

He hopes the team can do okay without him for the next two months, but there’s no going back now. Escape could mean endangerment to his crew. 

In the end he’s prescribed a quick and clean death, courtesy of the board.

As he’s lead to the chair, strapped to it, he wonders if Lucretia ever got her journal back, and then he wonders nothing at all.

***

Waking up at the helm of the Starblaster is an odd sensation. It’s different when you’re being pulled apart from living matter, Davenport thinks, but to be reborn? There’s something about it that fills him with dread.

And that’s when the screaming starts.

“Hey, Cap’nport? What the fuck?” Magnus starts.

“You weren’t there,” Taako argues, “you don’t get to say that, I do. Hey Cap’nport, what the actual fuck?”

“Let me fly us somewhere safe,” Davenport tries, “and then you all can yell at me.”

“Sounds fair,” Merle says, and he heads out of the common room towards the kitchen, where they usually have their meetings. Most people follow. Lucretia stays.

“It was hard without you,” she says, voice soft.

“Is Barry that bad at flying the ship?” He says.

She chuckles. “Yes, but that’s not what I mean. It’s not right when we’re missing someone.”

“That’s how I feel, too,” Davenport says, “but as the captain I have to make difficult decisions and if that includes me dying instead of one of you - ”

“What about not as the captain? What about as our equal? As our friend?”

Davenport bites down on his lip, trying to ground himself. “That hurts worse,” he admits.

Lucretia nods. “I know there’s no easy solution,” she says, “but you can’t protect us from all of this.”

“I know that,” Davenport snaps, “I’m not Magnus, I just - ” He takes a deep breath in. “I’m the reason all of you are in this mess. I’m the reason you were chosen, why you’re here.”

Lucretia shakes her head. “You didn’t know this would happen. It’s not your fault.”

“It has to be,” Davenport explains, “because if it’s not there’s no one to blame.”

Davenport finds a place to land the ship and turns to join the others in the kitchen.

“I blame the Hunger,” Lucretia says. “It simplifies a complicated situation, I know, but I can’t help it. If you need someone to blame, it’s them.”

Davenport shakes his head. “The Hunger hasn’t failed as a captain.”

Lucretia pauses. “You haven’t - ”

“Drop it,” Davenport says, cheeks beginning to flush.

“I think we need to discuss this.”

“The others are waiting,” Davenport says, running a hand through his hair, “it’s fine, let’s drop it.”

Davenport turns to see Lucretia nod. “Okay,” she says. “But if you feel inadequate, you can come to me, okay?”

Davenport finds himself nodding. “Okay,” he agrees.

The two smile and head out of the room to meet their family.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is @infernaltwink come chat with me about Davenport!


End file.
